Being Affectionate - showing that golden rule living through brotherly love

Romans 12:10 Be kindly affectionate to one another with brotherly love, in honor giving preference to one another.

Well, this one is a hard one, isn’t it?  We need to be affectionate with others and give preference to others as well!  Being affectionate doesn’t just mean being a huggy person, although I am one to never turn down a hug!  However, it’s being free with the expression of your love of others – it’s a tender love as the love of a parent to a child, not forced.  It’s common courtesy, a loving smile, a touch on the shoulder.  What is sweeter on this side of heaven than to love and to be loved? 

In order to understand the kind of love Jesus had for us and the kind of love we should have for other people, we need to look closely at John 21:14-17.  Jesus asked Peter 3 times if he loved Him.  The first two times Jesus was actually asking Peter if he “agape” loved him.  By using the word “agape”, Jesus was literally asking Peter if he would sacrifice or die for him.  The first two times, however, Peter answers that he “phileo” loved Christ.  Using this word “phileo” Peter was telling Jesus that he loved him like a brother.  Whether Peter does not understand what Christ is asking of him when Christ uses the word for agape love, or whether Peter is not willing to go so far as to say he will die for Christ, we do not know.  We do know that the third time, Jesus asks Peter if he loves him like a brother using the word phileo and Peter affirms that he does. 

Agape love is love that requires willful sacrifice.  In the New Testament, agape love is more in motion than emotion.  It says “I will do what is best for you, even if it costs me something.”  It means sharing your home, your time, your talents, and your money with others even though it may mean more work for you.

There is a popular song that has this line -

And they'll know we are Christians by our love, by our love they will know we are Christians by our love

This song is a challenge to Christians to really live with love towards each other and to share our love with others.  

Can the world really see Christ living in us as we walk past our sisters and don’t speak to them?  Or hold grudges for years over petty differences? 

I'll toss in a comment or two about modesty.  If we truly have agape love towards our brethren, we will be more aware of our clothing choices, and our behaviors.  I want to write more on this in the future ...  but this is just a nugget to think about.

We could talk quite a bit here about being hospitable as well.  I wrote an article a few years ago about hospitality, the lack of it in the church, the need for it in the church and some simple ways to be hospitable.  This is an area in which I love, and so much desire for us to invest more time in.  Ladies, we need to be hospitable, we need to train our children in hospitality and those of us who are older, need to train those who are younger.  (~more on this in the future~)

 Without Christians in the world to show Christ's love, a big part of that through hospitality, how are we ever going to turn people to Christ? Also, how do we get along with other Christians when we lack that hospitality in our lives?  Our hospitality as Christians should come from deep within us because of our love for Christ. Hospitality is a wonderful gift to others. We don't need a grand palace, or a dream home—few of us have those. To make others feel truly welcome, we only need an open heart.

 Consider this poem based on I Corinthians 13:

Love is patient, love is kind
Never boasts, not full of pride
Always hopes, always trusts
the evidence of Christ in us

Be affectionate and loving.

Being Tenderhearted ... ways to live the golden rule!

Ephesians 4:32 and be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. 
2 Corinthians 1:3 & 4 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort those who are in any trouble, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. 

This verse in 2 Corinthians means a lot to me.  In our lives, we have all experienced different trials and God has comforted us.  Because we have been through those tribulations, we are able to better comfort someone else who is going through a similar circumstance.  I know what it’s like to be a preacher’s kid.  It wasn’t always easy!  I am always willing to love on and empathize with preacher’s children and treat them the way I wish that I had been treated.  My husband has lost a parent, and when someone has lost a parent, especially someone young, he can offer such empathy and comfort to them that I can’t.  A good friend lost her first baby just a few weeks before he was to be born.  God has blessed her with 6 children, but yet she can offer such love and support to those who have lost a child.  That comfort came from God; He gave it to us and expects us to share it with others.  Remember we are not a storage system, but an irrigation system!

SO LONG as you can sweeten another's pain, life is not in vain," wrote Helen Keller.

How can we show empathy? 

Listen. By listening carefully we learn what problems others face. And the better we listen, the more likely they are to open up their hearts and reveal their feelings.
Observe. Not everyone will openly tell us how they feel or what they are going through. A keen observer, however, will notice when a fellow Christian seems depressed, when a teenager becomes withdrawn, or when a zealous minister loses his enthusiasm.
Use your imagination.  Sometimes we just need to think – how would I feel if I were in that situation, or what might I need if that was happening to me?

The story is told of a little girl getting off the school bus with her good friend.  Her mother saw her through the window as she was standing at the kitchen sink, and expected her daughter to come running up the walk in just a few minutes.  However, after several minutes her child did not come up the walkway and the mother began to worry.  As she was going out the front door, her small daughter came running up the walkway.
What took you so long, Emma?  Her mother asked, I was beginning to worry about you.
Well, said the daughter, Samantha was having a problem and I really had to help her with it.
How did you help her? Her mother asked.
I just sat down and helped her cry, said the precious little girl.
Have you ever just sat down and helped someone cry? 

Be tenderhearted. 

Being Kind - sounds simple!

Being kind seems like such a simple thing.  It is really, and is such a key to Golden Rule Living.  However, do we always practice kindness? 

Kindness comes first from God – Ps. 33:5 – God loves righteousness and justice; the earth is full of the goodness of the Lord; Psalm 119:64 The earth, O Lord, is full of Your mercy.  God daily gives us kindness!  We need to share them with others!

Remember the story of Joseph?  His brothers put him in a pit, told his father he was dead and sold him into Egypt.  However, when the years had passed and they came to him for food, Joseph treated brothers kindly even after what they had done!  Would we do the same?

Kind hearts are the gardens,

Kind thoughts are the roots,

Kind words are the blossoms,

Kind deeds are the fruits.

We are hopefully showing kindness to everyone throughout our lives: co-workers, neighbors, teachers, sales clerks, waitresses, and other Christians.  There are times where we must be firm, but it can be done with loving-kindness.  We can speak softly, touch gently, smile, look at someone, write a note, make a phone call; share a cookie – all ways to be kind. 

If Jesus came to my house for a day would I talk to Him the same way I talk to my husband?  Or would I treat Him with more kindness?

The story is told of a woman who was having trouble getting her family to church services on time.  By the time everyone had found their shoes, belts, had their hair combed and was loaded into the car for the drive to the building, everyone was fussing and being angry at each other.  One week, the mother decided she would just show the family how they were acting and she would secretly tape record them on their Sunday routines. 

When Sunday arrived, the mother secretly placed the tape recorder where no one could find it and went about their morning.  Later in the day she decided to play it back.  What she heard was a little shocking– "let me help you find your shoes Johnny", "Mary may I help you comb your hair?"  "Honey, can I pour you a second cup of coffee?" 

You see, only the mother knew about the tape recorder, and only the mother changed her words and was kind!  What an effect it had on the members of her family.

We must remember to be kind, treating others as we would wish to be treated.  I need to remember this too.